I know it has been a while since I have written to you. I have to admit that it is an exciting time to be unemployed. The repossession went well, as did the foreclosure. I am sure all of you have heard that the 25.00 raise in UI benefits canceled out my food stamps. But no problem, I go to Costco and eat samples for an hour. Takes care of lunch and dinner as well. By the way, I recently had a great job interview. It was fun sitting around the waiting room with the other 300 applicants and sharing stories about our lives. I especially loved the one, about the woman who started out feeding her children PB&J sandwiches every night for dinner, and then it was PB sandwiches, now it is just bread. It has been a month since the interview, but I am sure I aced it.
I see that you and your fellow Senators have been taking Mondays and Fridays off. Out of curiosity, do you get your pay docked for doing that? My old boss had no sense of humor when I called in tired.
Hey, remember the toothache I told you about in July? Well, the pain is getting better, and I found a free dental clinic that will see me in February!!!
In the meantime, I hope things are going well with the jobs all you Senators still have. I have heard rumors that your pink slip will be issued in the coming year and it will have 15.1 million signatures on it. By the way, for future reference, if you are looking for a place to live, Crystals bathroom is great, free Wi-Fi, utilities, maintenance and toilet paper.
Jobless American Worker
Written by SMS
Flyfishva contributed to this article.